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Jebadiah the Near Messiah

Someone had to be next to last

During Biblical times there were many who believed they were the Son of God, and a few who actively campaigned for the position. A newly discovered set of scrolls tell the story of one wanna be Messiah who appears shortly before the time of Christ....actually, just a few hours before the time of Christ.

Referred to as Jebadiah the Near Messiah, he apparently played a key role in the the fulfillment of the ancient prophecies by paving the way and setting the stage for Jesus immediately before historic events recounted in the New Testament.

A few excerpts are provided below:


The Next to Last Supper

Jebadiah sent forth his disciples to make ready for the Passover Feast. In accordance with the scriptures he planned to reveal himself to his followers by the performance of miracles, the reading of signs and a round of XX questions. His most trusted disciple, Julius returned onto him with good tidings:

Jeb: So, did you get the big room?
Jul: Not only did I get the big room, but I got it at half price
Jeb: Great, how did you do that?!
Jul: I got us the Early Bird Seder. Got there just before some guy from Nazareth.
We have to be in by 4 and out by 6.
Jeb: Out by 6pm?
Jul: Yes, that guy's got the there room right after us, big party, something like 13 people.
Jeb: But I have a big announcement to make. I have a whole program planned out and you know how much I hate being rushed.

6:13 PM Later that Evening: And lo the hour became late and the program ran long and the innkeeper incurred he wrath of Jebadiah by interrupting him while there were still 10 questions remaining. A rain of curses and blasphemes sprang forth from the mouth of Jebadiah such that he was lead away in chains to the house of the Governor, Pontius Pilate….

PP: So what have we here, another Jewish rabble rouser…. Another "Messiah"
Jeb: That's what you say
PP: Let me guess, you're "King of the Jews"
Jeb: As you have said it …I suppose now you'll have to punish me....
PP: Well, you know, lately I've been thinking
Jeb: Thinking? What is there to think about?
PP: You know, you people have suffered enough. I think its time us Romans took a more open minded approach to our conquered subjects.
Jeb: But I said I was King of the Jews…. you can't let me get away with that...
PP: I suppose, but who am I to say you're not, really? I mean I understand you once wondered through the dessert for 39 days and nights. What sane man would hold you responsible for anything you said after an ordeal like that. Here, have something to eat, you must be hungry.
Jeb: No thanks, I've already had dinner...
PP: So early...?
Jeb: Don't get me started Look, Roman law demands that you execute me...
PP: I know, I know… but where have all these executions gotten us? Maybe it's time we tried a lighter hand. Besides, its such a nice day, one of your holidays, in fact…why clutter up the landscape with a bunch of bloody crosses….

And so the argument ensued thusly long into the night, until the mighty Pilot, his patience at an end, had Jebadiah roughly cast forth from the palace and into the street.

PP: You try to do something nice for these people and all you get agita.

The next guy to appear before me is really going to get it.

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